Step one: Admit your problem

I am a hypocrite. I really can’t believe that I am, but it is true. There have been blogs posts about work/life balance and making time for things you want and does Generation Y attend places of worship, etc.  I have read these posts, enjoyed them and the comments that follow.  I have even left comments saying such things as “life is about choices” and “you have to make time for things you want” and even (and Jun Loayza’s favorite) “then you pull an all-nighter to catch up.”

I backed out of a soccer game.  It was to be my first game with the team, a try-out if you will, and then I backed out the day of the game.  I had spent all morning doing taxes, applying for contract positions, etc, etc and didn’t even start my homework until 1pm and I was waaay behind on the reading for the class.  So, I backed out.  Then I realized that I couldn’t remember the last time I had been to church, something I value and yet don’t make time for.  Who am I to leave comments for other people, when I don’t even practice what I preach??

Hypocrisy is something I can’t stand in other people.  I was a dance major and tried to make a go of it professionally, so I know fake when I see it (or at least like to think that I do).  It drives me crazy, and yet here I am faced with it in myself.  I feel…hollow.



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5 responses to “Step one: Admit your problem

  1. I think we all strive for that balance – we talk about it, we want it, we crave it. But as much as we talk about it, it’s not always a reality – it can’t be sometimes – we can’t always balance and factor in every single thing we want to do – sometime life gets in the way of itself, sometimes things come up, priorities change – that’s life.

    Does it make you and my a hypocrite by ‘definition’ when we talk about maintaining balance and then we don’t ourselves? I don’t think so – I think it’s about changing your perspective on the whole balance thing.

    You didn’t go to the soccer game – but that’s ok – you did what you had to do in that moment, but make time for the next soccer game, learn from it, start work a little earlier, get your project done a day sooner – work a little harder so you can ‘balance’ and be at those soccer games.

    We’re not hypocrites, we’re human, we’re learning, and that’s what makes life worth living, that’s the message I strive to get across in everything I write. Thanks for sharing this, it really made me think.

    • legaldunki

      Hooray! I wrote something that made someone thing! 🙂 For me, I think I just need to do what I say. If I am telling other people to prioritize, then I should be doing that as well.

  2. Kristina: I really appreciate the honesty in your post, I think this feeling is something that many can relate to.

    In my own experiences, life *is* very much about choices and making room for things that you want. However, as I’m learning myself, it doesn’t always turn out the way you necessarily want it to or even expect it to. I think that’s one of the things about being an adult that is sometimes so hard to face (at least for me, personally): priorities can shift, goals can change, and responsibility comes before everything else.

    I don’t think you’re being a hypocrite, not at all. I think you were being realistic in what you could accomplish and these other things sadly had to take priority. Life is about balancing that out, and until we figure that out, it’s going to feel a lot like failure, a lot like disappointment. And that’s never an easy thing to face.

    Thanks so much for this post. I truly wish you the best.

    • legaldunki

      Susan, thank you for your comment. Things should get better now that taxes are over. 🙂 I’ve always been one that felt that keep your obligations was important. If I said I would be somewhere, then I was there. To have to back out of something just makes me feel, as you said, a failure.

  3. But you’re honest with yourself (at least now), which is a big step towards practicing what you preach.

    Though, now might also be a good time to re-evaluate what you preach, perhaps you don’t value some things as much as you thought you did and it’s why you struggle committing to them?

    I also don’t think you’re a hypocrite. It’s easy to say you will or should so something with every intent of following through but then never actually being able to accomplish it. It’s part of the learning process and the fact that you don’t blow of that point shows you’re ahead of the game.

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